Swiping at Copperhead

Welcome to Swiping at Copperhead! A place where we sift through hot PGA fantasy takes with dating profiles. This week’s venue is just a short four hour jaunt from last week’s Atlantic coastal side of the Sunshine State to the gulf town of Palm Harbor. I’m sure talent levels will be similar, but there’s only one way to find out. Open up that app and give those thumbs a workout!

As always, all dating profiles are constructed through real profiles from my personal online dating hell experiences. Except for the parts that I completely make up. Enjoy!

Tommy, 31

Quiet at first but once I’m comfortable I can be super chatty 🙂 Work outdoors so I like spending most nights in cuddling up with my fur baby. Here to find my person to go on adventures with! 6w5, ISJF, Hufflepuff. Two truths and lie: 1) I recently shaved my beard off 2) DTF 3) I’ve won a PGA event on US soil

Not only has Tommy never won an event on US soil, he hasn’t won anywhere in almost three years! And for the last time, on behalf of all men, we don’t care about your results from some fucking personality test!! The entire basis for dating apps is to judge a book by it’s cover. Now, while Tommy’s surface level results aren’t bad, the recent ceiling has been low and makes his DFS price difficult to justify. It’ll be a left on the Englishman in daily formats. Right on 55/1 outright for FOMO purposes.

Shane, 34

Ribeyes and thic thighs! Haver of fun. Anyone else tap out on this online dating thing and then decide a week later they really don’t want to die alone and fire it back up? Yup, me too!

Lowry on the other hand seems poised to return to the winners circle sooner than later. His ace last week on the famous island green 17th at Sawgrass was magical in route to a solid T-13 finish. Even if he doesn’t win, the floor/ceiling combo that the Irishman has demonstrated recently is exactly what I’m looking for in a partner. Don’t worry Shane. You won’t be dying alone. At least for this week. As a fellow haver of fun, right across the board on Lowry.

BK, 31

I enjoy living in the heads of some of my co-workers. Gym, tan, laundry. Looking to hook up but am open to something serious if the sex is good. Hit me up!

Ahh yes. The unapologetic fuck boy. Koepka will look to continue his 2022 Jekyll and Hyde routine at Copperhead this week. After THE PLAYERS second round 81 abomination, he’s now missed three cuts in five events this year. The good news is that he bounced back nicely with T-3 and T-16 finishes after the last two. Say what you want about profiles like this, but they only behave the way they do because they can. And, at least this guy is honest about it. Bottom line is Brooks has winning upside in any tournament he plays in. Because of his recent erratic play, he’s coming at a discount right now in all formats. I say he bounces back again to contend this week. Hard right.

Vik, 24

The way to my heart is through ice cream and puppies. Love my job and am pretty damn good at it 😉 I’m probably going to send you a bunch of silly tik toks. My personal hell is being behind slow walkers in the grocery store. What podcasts are you listening to? Never married no kids but want both. BLM

Hovland was one of the few elites to survive the carnage at Sawgrass last week with his third consecutive top-10 finish. I’d love to come up with a reason for avoiding this Norwegian ninja, but there isn’t any logical one other than being the brilliant DFS contrarian when he missed the cut. Statistically he’s elite, the form is great, and he’s a proven winner. The next step will be for him to win a tournament in the states. The way he is trending, that should be happening this season. Right in daily formats. Left on 9/1 because those odds are no fun on the straight betting market. Also, he’s spot on–slow walkers are bad people.

Xander, 28

Must love sports (watching and playing), long talks in sweatpants, and know who Captain Lee is. Tryna fall in love but lets have some fun first. What are you doing to change the world? Proud supporter of military and law enforcement. IG: @XgonnaGetYa

I think using dating profiles to analyze golf for fantasy and gambling purposes is about as close to changing the world as I’ll get. Anyway, it’s hard to believe but the X-man hasn’t won a traditional format tournament in over three years now. Knowing the way that he has consistently contended over that same stretch, it’s scary to think he may have contracted Finau syndrome–eeek. Normally, any Below Deck reference in a profile would warrant an immediate right. But, Xander’s not a cheap date and I need to know what our potential is in this type of relationship before I invest my cash and emotions. While I think he’ll bounce back fine from his first missed cut of the season, it’s a left for me.

CORE DFS PICKS

Each week, I identify 3-4 players that I want to build around in my DK lineups. These selections are players that I believe have top-25 floors with top 10 upside, and a reasonable case to win. They will be used in all my lineups. This week’s selections:

• Keegan Bradley
• Louis Oosthuizen
• Christian Bezuidenhout
• Matt Fitzpatrick

In my first post of the season last week I went just 2/4 in cuts made with one top-25. It was a disappointing start, but last week was a complete shit show from any gambling/fantasy standpoint for just about anyone. Here’s to all of us bouncing back on the gulf side of Florida this week.

DFS LONGSHOTS

I mentioned Hayden Buckley here last week as a guy I’m willing to take a risk on due to his sharp tee-to-green game. He came through with a made cut which is all you’re really asking for in this range. Another rookie in that same mold is Austin Smotherman. For both, their strong ball striking skills will help them avoid blowing up enough that they’ll end up sticking around for roughly 50% of their weekends. If either can get a hot wand going, it should lead to more high place finishes like Smotherman’s T-11 at the Farmer’s Insurance Open back in January.

STRAIGHT BET CARD

• Lowry to win 30/1
• Brooksy to win 35/1
• Fleetwood to win 55/1
• Brooksy FRL 37/1
• Bezuindenhout FRL 55/1

Good luck at Innisbrook! Follow me on twitter @realBobbyAdcock compliments and insults are always welcomed.