The biggest idiots to ever scour the earth are 15 year old boys. They make John Gruden sound smart.
My girlfriend in middle school demanded I write 100 reasons why I “loved” her after we had a fight. I did it… like an idiot. All of this in the name of somehow making it to that sweet, mysterious land called sex.
Oh, sex. How risky you are. Especially for a sweaty, pimply-faced idiot like my 15 year old self. The girl could get pregnant, I could get some hump bumps, or worse, her dad could walk in. Tons of risk, but tons of upside. Locker room talk would be awesome that Monday. I’d lie about the whole thing and say it was great, and she loved it.
The players listed below are the opposite of sex. Undervalued, low risk, and smart. They are best used in low risk line ups for 50/50 tournaments and head to head matches. They scream value and allow you to splurge elsewhere on your line up.
All values from FanDuel.
Philip Rivers $7700 vs WAS
Washington’s secondary routinely gets sliced and diced. They are tied for 23rd in the league in passing yards allowed and 25th in passing TD’s allowed. Rivers has had a rejuvenated season and is a nice value this week.
Eddie Lacy $6800 vs CHI
A Lance Briggs-less Chicago front looks a lot less menacing, and a lot more tasty for my boy Eddie. He is being priced around people like Fred Jackson, Chris Johnson, and Darren McFadden. He’s still a steal, and one of the most consistent running backs in the league. Pairing Lacy up with Danny Woodhead seems to have happened in a lot of my 50/50’s.
Antonio Brown $6700 vs NE
Six catches for 50 yards is Brown’s worst stat line this year. He is a low floor guy at a good price that will give you nice filler points. He is a the epitome of a safe value play that fits perfectly into your 50/50 and H2H lineups.
Golden Tate $5000 vs TB
Was it the best taunt of all time? Pretty close. Tate pranced into the end zone last week sarcastically encouraging the St. Louis safety to catch up. And holy spit, this just in! Sydney Rice is out the rest of the year with an ACL injury. With Harvin still not in the picture, Tate is a wonderful play this week.
Jordan Reed $5600 vs SD
Reed will be a high end TE1 for the rest of the season. He is still not priced near his actual worth. He is being priced under guys like Jermichael Finley, Antonio Gates, and Heath Miller. RGIII loves the young tight end. Keep playing him.
Your lucky effing day! Bonus value pick for you cheap QB lovers out there…
Jake Locker $6700 vs STL
Sneaky play of the week is your boy Locker. His matchup is softer than Oprah’s tummy, and his salary is cheaper than your cross-eyed uncle’s sex advice.
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