NFL Notebook Week 15

To quote the great lyricist Macklemore “You know I’m back like I never left, Another sprint, another step, Another day, another breath.”

Due to some technical difficulties, last week became the NFL Notebook’s official bye week. Now that I’m well rested and my laptop is firing on all cylinders I’m ready to finish out the last few weeks and head into the playoffs with guns a blazing.

We learned a lot the last few weeks. The Rams are human, the Patriots era of domination is ending, & the goddamn 49ers know how to cost me money. But with week 15 now behind us, we must do what we always do and recap the happenings of the NFL.

Vance Joseph Has No Feeling in His Ass

Honestly the headline says it all, this man must have zero feeling in his ass if he doesn’t think he is on the hottest seat of them all. Joseph’s seat is so hot that the Broncos wanted to can him last year and bring back the eldest Shanahan for another stint with the team.

On Monday Joseph called reports of his future “nonsense”….(Insert Andy Dwyer What Face Gif)
This man is on the verge of the first back-to-back losing season since 1971-72 and he’s like, ah I’m good…I can’t hire or fire me amirite guys.

Joseph claimed that the team improved from last year’s abysmal 5-11 record, which as far as wins go is correct, but the team still looks like a shell of itself from the not so distant Manning era. Not that this solely lies on the shoulders of Joseph, because John Elway is just as much to blame, if not more for this…it would just be nice to see a coach have a little self awareness about the situation in front of him.

Sad News Coming Out of Monday Night

The Athletic put out a story on Monday, that the trio of Jason Witten, Booger McFarland, and Joe Tessitore will be back for the 2019 season. I’ll give you all a moment to cry, curse, and wonder why the football gods hate us.

Now we do still have a shimmer of hope…Jerry Jones could always pay Jason Witten a large sum of money to come back next year, which would not only benefit all Monday Night Football viewers but also the fans of the NFC East since I’m pretty sure Gronk is moving with more agility than Witten is.

It’s safe to say that Witten’s first season in the booth hasn’t been as well received as his former teammate, Tony Romo, who gave us a bit of hope that Witten wouldn’t be the worst person to hold a microphone. Unfortunately Witten lacks the charisma that makes the world love Romo. He is often bland, misdiagnoses replays, and gives us rants that come off like the uncle you avoid at family functions.

Tessitore and McFarland have come under far less scrutiny. Mostly they have become victims of the lack of chemistry in the booth and McFarland being on the sideline. Here’s hoping for a miracle over the summer that allows us to move on from this travesty.

Safe Travels Frank Gore

The Dolphin veteran running back and rushing leader will miss the final two games of the season with a foot injury.

The 35-year-old had 722 rushing yards on the season before injuring his left foot in the first half of Sunday’s loss to the Minnesota Vikings.

Rookie tailback Kalen Ballage & Kenyan Drake took over for the injured Gore. Given his age and the fact the team has two quality backs in Ballage and Drake, it looks like Gore’s time in South Beach and the NFL might be coming to an end.

Quick Slants:
-Butt Sack is so much better than the Butt Fumble, but chances are it doesn’t live past this week.

-Baker Mayfield will end up being considered one of the greatest quarterback of all-time when his career is over.

-The Ravens need to hire an offensive-minded coach who can bring out the weird in that offense.

-If the Giants even think about bringing back Eli Manning, we should all riot till they name Odell the starting QB.

-Cowboys are so going to blow it and cough up the NFC East to a Nick Foles led Eagles.

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