DraftKings NFL: Super Bowl Edition

It’s DraftKings NFL Super Bowl week, and I’ve officially lost my mind. What else would explain why I could not find my pepper grinder on my counter because I put it away in the refrigerator? By the way, if it’s called refrigerator, why have I, and every other human being I know, been referring to it as “frigerator” my entire life? Anyway, the truth is, misplacing the pepper grinder is really the manifestation of the subconscious fear of football season ending distracting the physical act of the task at hand. The dread of the oncoming withdrawal has my system so thrown off I actually had to shit after my morning shower once this week. The one trade off that makes it all worth it is looking forward to witnessing greatness at least one more time.

Unlike most fans outside Massachusetts, I don’t dislike the Patriots. And, I don’t think there is anything boring about them being in the Super Bowl again. Because I’m an adult, I don’t like the Patriots either. I mean, they’re sports franchises for Christ’s sake–not my girlfriend. I simply appreciate what they do. I appreciate watching greatness. What is greatness exactly? To quote Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s 1964 attempt to define “obscene” speech–I know it when I see it. And, it’s never boring.

Growing up in the 90s I border line hated the Michael Jordan Bull’s teams because of my irrational affinity for the Reggie Miller Pacer teams that, like every other team from that era, had no chance of getting out of the Eastern Conference while MJ was around. When I think back on their separate three-peats, the what was thought to be unbreakable record 72-10 team, and the Hollywood ending in Utah the word boring never runs through my head. You know when it does? During the times I reminisce about the two Houston Rocket titles over Jordan’s two year “retirement” absence. Actually, I’m pretty sure I never think, or have had one discussion with my friends about those Rockets teams. That’s saying a lot considering 93.4% of our discussions revolve around sports. And that’s not a jab at that Houston team–they were still a great team! They did win back to back titles which still has only been accomplished by eight different teams since 1980.

But, that’s the point. Only Certain teams and/or individuals attain a level of greatness that goes beyond just racking up titles. It’s the aura and mystique that develops with playing at such a higher level than their peers over enough time that they, their peers, and everyone watching begin to believe they can’t be defeated. I’m convinced that’s the sole reason that made last year’s Super Bowl comeback/meltdown win even possible. No other team/quarterback would’ve dared to even dream of pulling that off, but once Atlanta gave the Pats a little help with their own mistakes you could see the anxiety from Falcon’s defenders through a black and white standard definition television. Hell, most teams couldn’t have pulled off the fourth quarter comeback on the Jags two weeks ago!

I can’t recall every talking head’s reaction to that game, but I’m fairly certain boring wasn’t part of the description. No matter what the result is Sunday, I won’t be bored. Anything involving historic figures and monumental stakes really can’t be by nature. Was watching Tiger Wood’s meteoric rise, and domination of the PGA tour for over a decade boring? Was the late 90s/early 2000s New York Yankee’s run a real snooze fest? I don’t even like the Yankees, and I still get chills watching the Aaron Boone home run or the finish to game four of the 2001 world series. Did seeing Tyson at his peak putting the fear of God into other bad ass grown men just by walking to the ring ever get old? Was witnessing Daniel Plainview ascending as a titan of the early 1900’s American oil industry somehow dull?….

Sure, it can be exhaustingly annoying to see them keep getting over year after year. Even I envision smacking the beautiful smile off TB12’s face when I see shit like this…


But, not because it’s boring. Ask professional boxing what it’s like to not have any transcendent Tyson like heavyweight fighters the last 20 years. I don’t love Belichick and Brady. I love what they represent. They’re the standard. And when the aliens come down and ask what do we mean when using the human term “greatness”, I’ll just respond with, “watch this” because we know it when we see it….

DraftKings Super Bowl Approach

Now that my Patriots boner has subsided, let’s discuss some DK strateegery for the nontraditional showdown format. Disclaimer: I’ve never played this format, and am no IDP expert so my feelings won’t be hurt if you choose not to take heed with my suggestions. Regardless, In general I like the two quarterback approach, and going cheap on the defensive players. This one game format is the ultimate crap shoot. I’m not even sure why I’m trying to offer analysis or playing it altogether. Oh… I know. It’s cause I’m addicted! I’m going to dream a Stephon Gilmore pick six into existence Sunday night.

Position Player Salary
Offense Tom Brady  $    15,500
Offense Nick Foles  $    12,800
Offense Zach Ertz  $      9,300
Offense LeGarrette Blount  $      5,500
Defense Stephon Gilmore  $      3,600
Defense Chris Long  $      3,200

Unlike Justice Stewart, Maximus explains how he recognizes the greatness of Rome through what he doesn’t see when he looks elsewhere in world. In this analogy, the “rest of the world” is the Detroit Lions, and “Rome” is the Patriots.

Fantasy just got a whole lot better thanks to Monkey Knife Fight. New to MKF? Get Exclusive $100 Deposit Match + Free $5 Game!

Super Bowl Picks

You know what hasn’t been great? Me trying to pick these fucking playoff games! One. No, I’m not referring to my favorite U2 song. That number represents my playoff ATS wins for a stellar 1-8-1 this post season. In another life, in a galaxy far far away I used to monitor some wagers being placed by different groups of people. What always fascinated me was when someone went on a skid of 1-22 for the week. All I would think is–how. How does someone simply guess wrong that many times? I’m still not really sure. What I, and one of my heroes do know, is that the best thing to do when you’ve made bad decisions is to ignore them, stay in denial, and keep moving forward. 56-40-4 on the year…

Philadelphia Vs. New England -4.5 Over/Under 48.5

Reasons to take Philadelphia:

1. Speaking of being in denial, I had to admit to myself that the Eagles are good after their beat down on the Vikings in the NFC title game. A Philly blowout, especially after Minnesota’s opening drive touchdown, was something I would’ve not thought to be possible. They would’ve been the clear NFC favorite to be here all along with Wentz healthy. Now that Foles has shown he is capable, it’s clear many, including myself, downgraded their ceiling too far with Wentz out. It’s crystal clear they’ve taken it personally having fully embraced and flourished in the underdog role.

2. Similar to what I wrote about the Jags two weeks ago, Philly’s strengths arms them with the blueprint that’s required for beating the Patriots:

  • The ability to generate pressure with the front four: Brandon Graham, Fletcher Cox, and Chris Long–check!
  • An effective running game: The most impressive thing I saw from that NFC title performance was how dominant the Eagle’s offensive line was against one of the best rush defenses in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE–check!
  • Not having Blake Bortles at QB: Check! I didn’t mean that. Blake was really good in the AFC title game. But… I think  it’s more than fair to say the Jags offense overall lacks the same fire power as Philly’s with Alshon Jeffery, Nelson Agholor, and Zach Ertz. Unless the magnitude of the game swallows him up, there’s no reason to suspect Foles can’t continue his high level play against an average Patriot’s defense who spent a majority of the AFC title game on their heels.

Reasons to take New England:

1. Spygate, Deflategate, and now that stupid ESPN Articlegate that I’m convinced Bobby Kraft wrote himself just for fun. It’s harder to think of reasons not to take them. I think I’ve said enough about these guys.

The Pick: The Eagles have the roster and style to pull it off, and I’m expecting a close, relatively low scoring affair. The legend will grow, but not cover–Pats win 24-21. The real reason I’m thinking New England wins is that I think Brady and Belichick will have extra motivation to win their last Super Bowl together before they trade Brady for Matthew Stafford this off season. Yes, that’s a real article published by a supposedly real newspaper. Enjoy the laughs. You’re Welcome.

Good luck for Super Bowl 52! You can follow me on twitter @realBobbyAdcock


Stay up to date with the latest
Fake Pigskin fantasy news,
updates and exclusive offers!