Right now you might be asking yourself, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who in the Sam Hill is this fella?!” (in your best Yosemite Sam voice, of course).
I’m the new guy. No, not that new guy. Although I can’t say I’d be too upset if I got to watch Eliza Dushku try on bikinis for three-and-a-half minutes.
You’ll get used to me here at the Fake Pigskin, and we’ll become the bestest all-time BFFs at the Fake Seam Head, where I’ll be spewing fantasy baseball knowledge on a daily basis.
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This particular column will be featured bright and early every morning, so I don’t wanna hear any lame excuses that you didn’t have time to read it! It will serve as a guide to help maximize your team’s abilities by properly starting and sitting the correct players on your roster.
Some days you gotta pull a rabbit out of your hat by sitting your studs and summoning the guy keeping score at the end of your bench.
» Sean Rodriguez, Tampa Bay Rays: Sean Rodriguez isn’t a fantasy star, but Joe Maddon has a way of working wonders with his utility players. Rodriguez could probably thank Maddon for prolonging what should have likely been a minor league career. In six seasons, Rodriguez has hit .228/.304/.360 with a 23.8% K-rate, and as a wise man named Charles Barkley once said: “That’s turrible”. It’s his ability to play multiple positions (he’s played everything but CF, C and P during the past two seasons) that has garnered him 496 at bats in that span. There’s one other thing he’s done remarkably well, and that’s destroy anything Blue Jays’ pitcher Brandon Morrow has thrown at him. Rodriguez has five hits in 14 at bats vs. the Jays’ right-hander, two of which he’s deposited into the bleachers. He also has five walks, a double and six RBI to boot. After battling numerous injuries, Morrow will be making his first regular season start since May 28 of last year. Make sure Sean Rodriguez is in your fantasy baseball lineup on Thursday.
Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines: Zack Cozart (6-for-17, .353 BA, 2 HR, 1 2B, 3 RBI vs. Lynn), Aaron Hill (7-for-14, .500 BA, 4 2B, 2 RBI vs. Lincecum), Josh Willingham (6-for-13, .462 BA, 2 HR, 5 RBI vs. Quintana), Justin Maxwell (3-for-7, .429 BA, HR, 2B, RBI vs. Sanchez)
» Ben Zobrist, Tampa Bay Rays: I normally try to mix things up and offer suggestions from a couple different teams, but Ben Zobrist’s futility vs. Brandon Morrow needs to be brought up. In 30 career at bats vs. the Jays’ hurler, Zobrist has just four hits — yes, four hits. If that wasn’t bad enough, the eight-year veteran has struck out 11 times against him, too. You don’t have to be a math whiz to figure out that’s not good. Okay, I can see you still have a blank stare — that’s 36.7 percent of the time. Sure, one of those four base knocks was a home run, but I’d bet against Zobrist and bench him for Thursday’s game at the Trop.
Grab some pine, meat: Matt Wieters (1-for-16, .063 BA, 10 K vs. Doubront), Ike Davis (5-for-25, .208 BA, 2 HR, 6 K vs. Zimmermann), Mike Moustakas (1-for-10, .100 BA, 3 K vs. Sanchez), Alexei Ramirez (1-for-12, .083 BA vs. Hughes), Starlin Castro (4-for-25, .160 BA vs. Rodriguez)
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