DraftKings NFL: Week 4 Declarations

demaryius-thomas-josh-norman

Just another regular week of DraftKings NFL that was huh. As someone who prefers to bury my head in the sand by following sports, and avoiding watching real news that covers real issues something tells me that strategy will no longer be a successful one. For fear of being told to leave the country, I will not be offering any hot takes on what the appropriate behavior should be when the National Anthem is playing. Besides, I probably have stronger feelings on things such as Taco Bell’s new naked egg taco, or the masterful pairing of Agnes Obel’s “September Song” with the climatic reveal scene in Big Little Lies (spoiler alert). One of my life goals is to be able to play that, or Debussy’s “Claire De Lune” on the piano. Right now, my current ability is somewhere in between “Hot Cross Buns” and the theme from Jurassic Park. However, I can only remember how to do Jurassic Park after a bottle and a half of red wine–weird. With hard work, dedication, and a medical breakthrough in anti-aging medicine I’d say that puts me on pace for Debussy in roughly 118 years. This song is so fantastic and timeless it even works after a casino robbery…

Another goal of mine is to figure out what the hell is going on in this league on the field, and preferably not take the rest of my life to do it. Last Sunday started with, what many consider, a playoff team in the Baltimore Ravens ending the third quarter down 44-dick to Jacksonville in London. The day was capped off with alleged Super Bowl contender Oakland Raiders showing their ass on Sunday night going 0-11 on third down, and committing three turnovers in a sloppy loss to my boyfriend Captain Kirk’s Washington Redskins. In between there were numerous wild finishes that included Carson Wentz losing his game check to a kicker, and Detroit’s gut punch that inspired an update to this gem. At the end of it all, I can confidently say I’m not confident in what to expect week-to-week from 20-25 teams in this league yet. And that’s not even counting National Anthem etiquette! Oddly enough, none of that will stop me from gambling on it, and playing DFS–onto week four!

Week 3 Recap

Before week four is addressed, let’s acknowledge what occurred last week. My all-or-nothing personality tends to creep into many aspects of life including playing DFS. Similar to my commitment of not exercising everyday last week, I insisted on loading up my lineups with Lions including Matthew Stafford assuming I would capture three to four offensive touchdowns with some nice double up potential. During the fourth quarter of the early games it was apparent that approach was a bust, and to always have a DFS weekly insurance plan–the Patriots. Seriously, I’m taking my own week 2 advice and setting at least one Pats stack every week from here on out. Other than the Alex Smith-Tyreek Hill connection, Bell, and Brown suggestions I let myself down. More importantly, I’ll let Alfred say it…

Caine's gotta be one of the best fake blubberers in  Hollywood, right?

Caine’s gotta be one of the best fake blubberers in Hollywood, right?

Projected TB12 Filet Lineup

If I’m digging in on quarterback tenderloin it has to be Brady almost every week now. The fear of missing out on all those meaty chunks of yards, and touchdown drives is too much to bear. With 825 yards passing, eight touchdowns, and no picks over the last two weeks, Tawwmy is reiterating he’s the best option in fake, and real football. At running back, Dalvin Cook may be undervalued heading into a match-up with a Detroit defense that surrendered 152 yards last week to Atlanta running backs at an average of over five yards per rush. With what appears to be competent quarterback play through three weeks, Todd Gurley’s production is starting to attain the week-to-week levels his ability renders. The former tenth overall pick has already matched his touchdown total of six from last year, and even more impressive is what he’s been able to do in the passing game. Through the first three weeks of 2017, Gurley is tied for the team lead in catches, leads the team in targets, and has recorded his first two career touchdown receptions. If second year quarterback Jared Goff’s early season play is for real, Gurley is on his way to a monster statistical year, and will be seeing David Johnson type price tags in DraftKings nearing $10,000.

Position Player Salary
QB Tom Brady  $      8,000
RB Dalvin Cook  $      6,500
RB Todd Gurley II  $      7,800
WR DeAndre Hopkins  $      6,400
WR Demaryius Thomas  $      6,300
WR Jordan Matthews/Marquise Goodwin  $      3,900/3,500
TE Austin Seferian-Jenkins  $      3,000
FLEX Joe Mixon/Rishard Matthews  $      5,700/4,900
DST Browns  $      2,400
"That Big Little Lies ending is just...ya know"... We know TB12... We know...

“That Big Little Lies reveal scene is just…ya know”… We know TB12… We know…

Projected Running Back Filet Lineup

Speaking of competent quarterback play, no one may be more elated right now than DeAndre Hopkins and the Houston Texans. I definitely know the Texans cafeteria staff is happy with the organization’s first round selection. Without Brady going Brady in last week’s game winning drive, the Texans were a few plays away from their second straight win in a game where Vegas set them as 14 point underdogs. I’m guessing as long as Watson stays under center you will not be seeing the characters +14 next to the Texans name ever again. Having not been able to connect the last two weeks, I think a Watson-Hopkins score is due in what will be the rookie QB’s first career home start. With a similar approach, Broncos top wideout Demaryius Thomas and Trevor Elway have not yet connected for a touchdown this season. I like that to change in a match-up with a leaky Raiders secondary that ranks 25th in passing yards allowed, and 28th in pass yards allowed per attempt through three weeks. Swapping out TB12 for Watson/Siemian allows you to afford a mouth watering serving Ezekiel Elliott in the flex spot matched up against a Ram’s defense that’s allowed the fourth most rushing yards this season–and they’ve had huge leads in two of their games! Yummy…

With Corey Davis ruled out again this week, Eric Decker should continue to see a steady workload as he’s seen at least five targets in each game this season. In the same price range, it’s likely Vikings stud cornerback Xavier Rhodes will be occupying Golden Tate’s air space, which could benefit Jones Jr.’s production Sunday. Why Browns defense you ask? This act is coming to town! I can’t think of better way for the first overall pick to celebrate his NFL debut.

Position Player Salary
QB Deshaun Watson/Trevor Siemian  $      5,100/5,200
RB Dalvin Cook  $      6,500
RB Todd Gurley II  $      7,800
WR DeAndre Hopkins  $      6,400
WR Demaryius Thomas  $      6,300
WR Eric Decker/Marvin Jones Jr.  $      4,300/4,000
TE Austin Seferian-Jenkins  $      3,000
FLEX Ezekiel Elliott  $      8,200
DST Browns  $      2,400

Projected Roast Chicken Lineup

You know what? It’s just one of those weeks. The reasonable balanced meal that the roast chicken provides will not satisfy my needs. When I swap out the prime cuts of Gurley, Elliott, and Brady to increase investments at tight end and/or defense, the end result lacks the sizzle and flavor my palate desires for week four. I’m sure there’s a group somewhere that will interpret this as an anti-chicken stance that’s un-American demanding that I leave the country, but I can’t help it–I want my damn filet! By choosing steak only this week I’m exercising my rights that these brave men and woman fought for…

Too Cute?

  • JuJu Smith-Schuster $3,000: The Steelers second round pick’s 10 targets over the last two weeks suggests they want to make an effort to keep him involved. The way these guys sling it around, a big week out of no where is a possibility with anybody getting reps in this offense.
  • Hunter Henry $3,500: The second year tight end is off to a puzzling start having zero targets in two of the first three games. Henry proved last year in part-time duty he is capable of making big plays at any time with six games in which he recorded a catch of 20 yards or more, and eight total touchdowns in his rookie campaign. Think week one Austin Hooper potential.

The Picks Week 4

At least this was a positive last week. Back-to-back 4-1 weeks has me above .500 at 8-7 on the year! I’d like to thank myself for picking the Jets, and believing in Jay Cutler being the Cutty we all know and love him to be.

  1. Bears +7: Outside the Patriots, Chiefs, and Falcons should anybody be favored by more than a touchdown against any team? I’m sure I’ll regret this after the first Mike Glennon drop back.
  2. Rams +6.5: Same logic–just seems like there are 25 teams in this league where there isn’t much separation right now in terms of week-to-week performance. Would it really shock anybody if the Bears, or Rams are winning their games in the fourth quarter?
  3. Colts: +13: As I said last week, I will continue to go against Seattle until they play one decent game. Don’t let last week’s six point defeat deceive you. Seattle fell behind 30-14 to begin the fourth quarter after allowing a DeMarco Murray 75 yard touchdown run, and never seriously threatened again.
  4. 49ers +7: Sorry @ReganFP. This hurts me more than it hurts you. Well, actually probably not, but the David Johnsonless Cardinals suck! I just realized I’m taking Mike Glennon, Jared Goff, Jacoby Brissett, and Brian Hoyer all on the road. Everything’s fine…
  5. Jets +3.5: You want a strong political take? Fine–I’m banning all results from the anti-American London games when evaluating Jacksonville. Think about all the teasers and moneyline bets bookmakers will be cheering against this week, and all five of these dogs will come to mind. Woof! Woof!

Good Luck in Week 4! Don’t forget to comment, share, and follow me on twitter @realBobbyAdcock.

NFL Fuck Yeah!

NFL Fuck Yeah!

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