July 4th Chili Recipes

Chili

July 4th is just around the corner and a lot of people suddenly have to consider what they’re going to do with an entire gaggle of family members showing up at their place.  If you’re grill-challenged like me and have to feed a minor army, the solution is obvious.  The official state food of Texas, chili!  Scalable and simple, all you need are ingredients and a big pot.

Guinness Chili

I have three options below, for different tastes and allergy types, including vegetarian options.  All ingredients can be found at your local grocery store, though you may need to go to a store with a different selection to find a particular brand if you’re dodging allergies (for instance, I can find the El Yucateco Chile Habanero Hot Sauce at Wal-Mart, but not at my local Safeway).

Please note: for the Bunny Chili there are very specific brands listed because things like “Natural Flavors” appear in the strangest places.  Hunts Tomato Sauce, for instance, adds “Natural Flavor” to the list of ingredients for some reason so it’s excluded from the allergy sensitive chili.  You’d think the natural flavor would be TOMATOES ffs, but they just can’t leave well enough alone.

 

Guinness Chili Recipe: (mild)

Three 10oz cans Rotel diced tomatoes and green chilies (mild) – drained

Two 15-oz cans Hunts tomato sauce (or one 29-oz can)

One regular yellow onion – skinned & finely diced

One green pepper – cored and finely diced removing seeds

1+ pound ground sirloin (see below for vegetarian option)

Two tablespoons cumin

Two tablespoons chili powder

Two teaspoons salt

1/2 teaspoon cayenne

1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika

1 cup brewed coffee

6 ounces of Guinness Extra Stout (about half a bottle – the rest goes into the cook)

Splash of Worcestershire sauce for flavor

Directions

Brown the meat, no need to drain (note that if you are vegetarian, you can get MorningStar Farms “Grillers Crumbles” from the frozen foods section and add them in at the end after the rest of the chili has cooked, rather than using ground beef). 

Add everything else

Bring to boil

Simmer for 2+ hours stirring every 15 minutes.

After portioning into bowls, consider topping with shredded sharp cheddar cheese.

Consider serving with King’s Hawaiian Rolls and/or Tostitos Corn Chips

______________

Bunny Chili Recipe (Hotter.  For the gluten, dairy, soy, poultry and other allergic types)

Two 14.5oz cans Del Monte Diced Tomatoes with Green Pepper & Onion

Two 15oz can Contadina Tomato Sauce

One 4.5oz can Old El Paso Chopped Green Chiles

1+ Pound Ground Sirloin (no vegetarian option)

Two Tablespoons Ground Cumin

Two Tablespoons Chili Powder

Two teaspoons Salt

1/2 teaspoon cayenne

1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika

2 cups brewed coffee

A healthy splash of A-1 Sauce

A healthy splash of El Yucateco Chile Habanero Hot Sauce

Directions

Brown the meat, drain and rinse.

Add everything else

Bring to a boil

Simmer for 2+ hours stirring every 15 minutes.

Consider serving with Tostitos corn chips.

______________

My #$%&ng Face is on Fire Recipe (self-explanatory)

One 10oz can Rotel Diced Tomatoes with Habaneros (not drained)

Two 10oz cans Rotel Diced Tomatoes with Green Peppers (drained)

Two 15-oz cans Hunts tomato sauce (or one 29-oz can)

One regular yellow onion – skinned & finely diced

One green pepper – cored and finely diced removing seeds

1+ pound ground sirloin (see below for vegetarian option)

Two tablespoons cumin

Two tablespoons chili powder

Two teaspoons salt

1/2 teaspoon cayenne

1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika

1 cup brewed coffee

6 ounces of Guinness Extra Stout (about half a bottle – the rest goes into the cook)

A generous splash of Worcestershire sauce

Directions:

Brown the meat, no need to drain (note that if you are vegetarian, you can get MorningStar Farms “Grillers Crumbles” from the frozen foods section and add them in at the end after the rest of the chili has cooked, rather than using ground beef). 

Add everything else

Bring to boil

Simmer for 2+ hours, stirring every 15 minutes.

After portioning into bowls, consider topping with shredded sharp cheddar cheese.

Be merciful and serve with King’s Hawaiian Rolls and/or Tostitos Corn Chips.

 

Happy Independence Day, all!

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