Fantasy Baseball: Reds’ Billy Hamilton Steals Everything

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billy hamilton

Getting to watch Khaleesi take a bath was all worth it…

April 9, 2014…

After a worrisome start to the season the Cincinnati Reds’ Billy Hamilton broke out in a huge way on Wednesday, notching his first steals of the young season: two bases off of Yadier Molina.

In addition, Hamilton stole Joey Votto’s iPhone, Jay Bruce’s laptop, and Tony Cingrani’s lunch.  ESPN’s Peter Gammons reports that it was half of a leftover eggplant parm sandwich. [Ed. note: Mmmm eggplant parm…]

“I guess I should be mad,” remarked Votto after the game, “but this is why he’s with the team.  He’s a base-stealing specialist.  It’s not like anyone actually thought he was going to hit the ball.”

Hamilton has been caught stealing twice this season: once by the New York Mets’ Anthony Recker stealing second, and once by the Reds’ Devin Mesoraco as he was attempting to take a DVD set of Game of Thrones Season 3 from Mesoraco’s locker.

So far Billy Hamilton’s 2014 is reminiscent of Dee Gordon’s 2012, when despite stealing 30 bases and over $400 in office supplies, he was sent to the minors after posting a mere .229 batting average.  The Reds, however, continue to profess faith in their young speedster, noting his energy, prospect pedigree, and uncanny ability to hotwire a car.

Hamilton entered Wednesday’s matinee batting .091 (2-22 with seven strikeouts) and is now hitting a slightly less embarrassing .192 on the season.  After the travel day the Reds will — I swear I parked right here…

billy hamilton

No eggplant parm is safe…

Okay, but seriously…

When I sat down to write this post Hamilton had zero steals, and now he has two.  This goes to show you two things:

1) I’m a very slow writer.

2) Billy Hamilton is a very fast man.

As my editor and the fantasy baseball community could tell you, neither of these facts come as a huge surprise.  One thing, however, that is still highly in doubt, is Hamilton’s bat.  His three hits on Wednesday were a single, a bunt single, and a triple — which was the direct result of Matt Holliday hilariously missing on an ill-advised leap.  This could have very, very easily been another 0’fer.

I spent the entire draft season preaching caution on Billy Hamilton but I still saw him going for $15+ or as early as the sixth round.  I will once again beat the same old drum:

If you have Billy Hamilton in a redraft league, then trade him.  Trade him now.

He looked mismatched at the plate in Triple-A (.308 OBP) and he’s looked mismatched so far in the majors.  He’s Rajai Davis with 25% more steals — the very definition of a one category player.  Are you going to base your ranking in an entire category on one dude with a month of major league experience?

Heed my advice and find someone still enamored with those crazy wheels and ship him off for a Ben Revere/Brett Gardner type and a good No. 2-3 starter to replace that pitcher you lost.  And if you haven’t lost a starting pitcher yet then you’re obviously superhumanly lucky.  You may as well hang onto Hamilton, because that’s what it’ll take for him to end the year in Cincinnati’s leadoff role: speed and lots of luck.

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