Why Getting Slapped In The Nuts Is Better Than Losing In NFL DFS

It’s not like the pain you feel when a golf club suddenly cracks into your shin, or when your douchebag friend in high school runs up from behind you and slaps you in the nuts. No, a losing night in NFL DFS is more of a slow bleed. Usually filled with over confidence and gushing hope on Thursday night, just to slowly rip your heart out by Monday.

In the nut slapping situation, all you knew was immediate pain which is easier to cope with. There is no woulda, coulda, shoulda of tedious lineup creation. It’s you automatically doubled over in the hallway with a swollen right testical, tears in your eyes, and your friends pointing and laughing at you. There was nothing you could have done to avoid the slappage of nuts.

That initial hope you had for your lineup is the worst part. You invested a lot of time and research into fine tuning your lineup until you knew thought you had the first 500 point squad. Then Percy Harvin gets murdered in the first quarter and your day is screwed. It’s even worse is if no one gets hurt. Then you can only chalk it up to not factoring in weather conditions, or fading Josh Gordon because he’s on a crappy Browns team (damn it).

Most DFS articles and Twitter hype center around the glamour of winning big in daily fantasy sports. Here are few ways to cope with the lows of having to redeposit cash into your favorite site due to trying to be “contrarian” on Flash Gordon.

My first suggestion is to not watch your DFS lineups during the games themselves. Making sure every yard is tallied correctly by Fanduel does you no good as Condia kicks your ass. I know this recommendation is basically impossible, but I’m assuming it could help your blood pressure.

The second is to understand that you created the best lineup with the information you had at hand. Regret is a natural feeling when you see Rodgers getting peeled off the turf and dragged to the locker room, but Hell, you were only betting your mortgage payment on that GPP. You can’t beat yourself up over fluke injuries or not rostering Justin Tucker as he kicks his way to 40 fantasy points. Leave that to your wife when she verbally assaults you after getting foreclosed on.

The last suggestion is to always tweet like you win every DFS match you enter. Respect is earned on Twitter through claims of GPP victory and slaying the ruthless Condia. Sit back and watch your followers rise, and the word “Guru” and “Expert” be tossed your way in Friday Follows. You may have no money, no home, no family due to DFS, but your Twitter game will be top notch.

 

 

 

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